Thoughts on the ALCS

by Knorr the Interpreter

[Insert anger/frustration-inspired Tourette's attack here]!

Well, my Tribe proved they can kick ANYBODY's ass in a best-of-5 series - and considering eight starting position players, four starting pitchers and four relievers played for the AA-level Akron Aeros during their multiple championship runs of 2003, 2005, 2006 and 2007, five-game playoff series are about what we're used to.

I have nothing good to say about this. I hate the Red Sox. I hate the Red Sox more than I hate Hitler - at least Hitler had the decency to kill himself once he found out how much of a douche he was. I hate the Red Sox's fans. I hate their uniforms. I hate their hot-dog vendors. I hate that piss-ant, falling-apart piece-of-shit T-ball field they make the grown-ups play in. The Red Sox are nothing more than a discount version the Yankees (whom I also hate, but not quite as much).

Losing to the Red Sox after going up three games to one feels like the Red Sox crashed my party, drank my beer, pissed on my couch, kicked my wife and shagged the shit out of my dog right in front of me. (Yes, those are in order - we ARE talking about Bostoners, here.) If I had the chance to look the Boston Red Sox in the face and tell them what I think of their World Series trip, I would have only two words for them...

GO ROCKIES!

(No, sorry... those butt-pirates would enjoy the two-word phrase you were thinking I'd say too much.)