Weasel Way To Wealth #1

by Hirem Alice, Esq.

1) Buy some land upon which to establish The Independent Republic of Biotia. Considering the size and viability of some of the former Yugoslavian republics, a couple acres of used-up farmland in Missouri should do.

2) Appoint yourself leader and give yourself some really snazzy UN-sounding title like Prime Secretary or Chief Minister General under which you file all the appropriate forms of nation-establishment.

3) Catch a bad cold.

4) See a doctor.

5) When he prescribes an anti-biotic, sue him since you are officially Biotic. Sue him for all he's got and then some on charges of malpractice, hate crimes, attempted murder, and attempted genocide. Really sell it -be obnoxious, loud, gregarious and melodramatic - you know, be a total dick.

6) Keep up the show until he agrees to plead to a sizable malpractice settlement out of court just to shut you up. Cha-ching! Collect.

If you need legal counsel to assist in any of these matters, the law firm of Weir-Alice-Lees-Yazell will be glad to take your case.