Just So You Know: Legally Drunk

by Library Barry, Senior Archivist

The legal standard to determine if a motorist is Driving While Intoxicated in most of the United States is a measurement of blood alcohol content (BAC) in which the alcohol content of the blood exceeds 0.08%. If a person registers above that level, it would take either one hell of a lawyer or and extended session of blowing into the policeman's trouser breathalyzer to keep him or her out of deep doo-doo.

Since there is no need to prove or point in proving the severity of one's intoxication beyond the legally established limit in court, any BAC reading above 0.08 is widely considered "legally drunk." Higher standards *have* been established, however...

DUI / DWI Classifications by BAC Level, as amended by USDOT Pub. 5.9.813b - 1993:

0.08 - Legally Drunk
0.12 - Technically Pissed
0.16 - Officially Crocked
0.20 - Statutorially Shitfaced
0.25 - Preceptually Hammered
0.30 - Blotto, By Decree