Blatant Whoring Effort To Increase My Hit Count

by Knorr the Interpreter

All my imaginary friends seem to have found other people to play with recently. I'm sure they'll be back soon, but in the meantime I thought I'd try to increase my hit count by throwing a boatload of popular search terms into bullshit headlines.

Headlines:

Britney Spears Fucks Dallas Cowboys' Terrell Owens In His Escalade For 50 Cent

Kim Jong Il Swallows Viagra: "Election Fear Reich Nu Metal!"

Scientology Lost Scarlett Johansson To Kabalah

Paris Hilton Departed Bachelor After Dancing with the Stars

Zoo Sex Gives Tiger Woods