Talking Economics - Federal Budget Deficit

by K. Russell Carlsson, Rogue Economist

It's me again. As a reminder, my name is Keith. Only my ferret-peckered, weasel-ass agent calls me K. Russell, and he pays a dear price for doing so. Let's just say that thanks to my fists, he can hit the high-F in Melanie's "Loving You" at will and leave it at that.

Today's topic: The Federal Budget Deficit. It's a big and important topic, but simple enough for anybody with a decent fifth-grade education to understand if they read this column. I'll go light on the technical stuff.

What is the Federal Budget Deficit? Quite simply, it is the amount that government spending exceeds government income. "Spending" is self-explanatory; "income" is almost entirely tax revenue from American workers and corporations.

There... definition period is over.

First important question: Are budget deficits bad? Answer: Yes, numbnuts! Spending more than you make is bad, whether it's Joe the autoworker trying to pick up a stripper or a federal government. It forces the over-spender to borrow money, which costs him interest (with Joe, on credit cards and/or mortgages; the Treasury on T-bills). This takes even more money out of the pockets later when all the bills come due - for Joe, next month; for the Treasury, our kids through taxes and our own older decrepit asses through cuts in Medicare and Social Security in the years to come.

Second important question: How do we stop budget deficits? Answer: By increasing income or decreasing spending, or ideally both. For instance, Joe can get a better paying job, work more hours at his current job, or get a night job to increase income. He can also give up on getting Tittsy L'Amour legs-up in the back seat of his Cavalier and go home and take care of himself in front of free internet porn to cut back on spending. For the federal government, the options are increase tax rates and/or tax more things to increase income and cut back on pet projects to reduce spending.

Third important question: Is Congress doing anything about reducing the deficit? Answer: No. Shit no. The idea of the party in power is that cutting taxes - especially to the rich and the corporate sector - and spending raging shitpiles of cash on dodgy and/or largely unnecessary projects (missile defense, Iraq invasion, the wretchedly botched Medicare Part D program) will somehow reverse our budget deficit.

Bunch of assholes! If Joe were to take a page out of Congress's deficit reduction playbook, he would quit his full-time union job at the plant to get a part-time job as a WalMart greeter, take out a third mortgage, and present Tittsy with a knee-high stack of tens and twenties and an invite to Las Vegas, where they would then place $100 bets on each and every white boxer on Earth to win all of their fights via first-round knockouts.

The differences? Joe made decisions that affect only him, he has to pay his own way out of the hole, plus he always has the option of suicide when he sobers up. Congress on the other hand is spending *your* money, mortgaging *your* house, nailing *your* stripper, sending *you* the bar tab, and getting paid by you to do so when they pass all these ridiculous policies. Sweet deal for them, actually - but it sucks to be you.

For that matter, it sucks to be me too. Those pilfering political pigfuckers! Great... now I'm pissed off. I'd better go before I throw something I don't want broken.