Hey, Celebrities - Shut Up About Politics!

By Bill Hannibaugh

Have you seen that Michael J. Fox ad in support of stem-cell research? There he is, jacking his celebrijaws, herking and jerking around like Max Headroom on espresso, talking about his Parkinson’s disease and how this baby-killing stem-cell research crap might help find cures… oh for crying out loud, Keaton – what the hell do you know about medicine? Just shut up already and leave the political positioning in medicine to people with actual experience in BOTH fields like Dr. Senator Bill Frist. Honestly – who should we listen to here: Marty McFly, or a man so skilled that he could diagnose Terri Schiavo’s condition from a videotape while on the floor of the Senate?

I can already hear the knee-jerk verbal diarrhea from those embryo-slaughtering liberal tampons: “But, Bill – Michael J. Fox has Parkinson’s Disease! Bill, he knows what he’s talking about! Bill, how can you say such mean and cruel things?” Yeah, yeah… go put The Club on your ugly-ass 1993 Volvo, Latte-Breath, and leave the thinking to the professionals.

(1) Sure Michael J. Fox has had Parkinson’s Disease for fifteen years… but he’s been an ACTOR for nearly thirty. Obviously, seniority wins out here – Fox is acting. Nuff said.

(2) Teen Wolf knows what he’s talking about? Impossible – he’s Canadian. Next question:

(3) I say cruel things because the TRUTH is a cruel thing. Cruel – like the fact that a liberal Canuck-infiltrator neurotard actor cripple is trying to work the emotional heartstrings of the soft underbelly of the American electorate in an attempt to wrest control away from the moral-thinking adults.

People – stop listening to celebrities. They’re actors – they get paid to convincingly spit the words being put into their mouths by wealthy elistists who want to keep the little guy down. I don’t care how dramatic, how emphatic, or how seemingly committed these media types appear when they spew their political or social “viewpoints” – they’re all liars. All celebrities - actors, musicians, models, radio personalities, talk show hosts – they’re just meat puppets, my friends… the whole lot of them. Don’t listen to celebrities - don’t buy the products they hump for and for goodness’s sake, don’t let them tell you how to vote!

And now a few words from Gold Bond Itch Powder and the Council of Conservative Citizens…