Fiddy... Excuse me, Fiddy!

by Herschel "Rab-N-Witz" Rabinowitz

Yes, Curtis - it's your executive producer here. I don't mean to bust your chops or anything, Babe, but some of us in the "HQ Joo Croo" have noticed you losing cachet with the young urban crowd of late. I know how you like to keep it real and stay street, but you're in a bit of a slump. Da Joo Croo is only looking to help.

Ira "Mad Shenk" Shenkel put together a few tracks for you to look over - we'd like you to give them a try, you know, to get you back to what made you King of the Hood in the first place. Here's the first one - let us know what you think...

Nine Muthafuckin' Times, Nigga!
50 Cent, feat. Mad Shenk

I! Been! Shot! Nine!
Times, muthafucka!
Nine times, Bitch Nigga!
Yo Nine! Damn Nine!
Nine muthafuckin' times!

You think you gangsta? Nigga, bring it!
I live my shit, Bitch, not just sing it.
Piss and moan 'bout you get hit?
Add two more, then triple that shit!

Nine times! Nine Times! Been shot nine times!

I! Been! Shot! Nine!
Times, muthafucka!
Nine times, Bitch Nigga!
Yo Nine! Damn Nine!
Nine muthafuckin' times!... yadda yadda yadda.

You can take it from here, Fiddy. Throw in some rhymes about smacking ho's and slinging rock and I think we've got a real chartbuster here. It can be 2003 all over again!

I don't about you, but I'm crunk! L'chaim, muthafucka!